Clipped Wings
by Blue Pixie Dust
Summary: Time is so powerful. It can heal our emotional scars or deepen them. It can make you forget someone, or love them even more. Hiei has never lived by time. And neither have I... but after years of suffering, you can't ignore time any longer.
1. Kumiko the mute

Chapter One: Kumiko the Mute

I felt so very lonely. As if I had this huge crater in me that no one around me could fill. Not friend, nor family; just him. I had times when i felt like to was about to drown and there was no one strong enough to pull me out of the dangerous waters. I would feel suffocated and found it impossible to be truly happy. I couldn't tell him this, though. I hated the way things were. Why did circumstances have to be set up so? I wished I could turn back time and stop myself from ever meeting him. I had often wished that I could be crying becuase he didn't know how I felt but he did. And he cared for me too which made it that much harder to say goodbye to him. I had sometimes wished that our memories of each other could be erased. I wished that nothing had happened between us; nothing has been said. This had brought me so much pain. Nothing good came in the longrun from my foolish urge to tell him how I felt. I was picky, I had high standards for the guys I chose. Why did I have to choose him?!? Why did I choose someone I couldn't have. I'd wonder what might happen if i killed myself. Would it end all my pain? But I didn't have the courage to commit suicide.. Besides, what if he came back? I still loved him, I truly did but this pain was nearly unbearable. I wanted no more tears. I would cry nearly every night for him. I wanted just to get over him! I wanted not to care for him anymore. I wished he had never come in into my life....

They say when you're in love

You feel like you can fly

When I'm near you, dear

It's only us; just you and I

But when you're not beside me,

I feel so many things.

Discouragment, frustration, and fear

I feel like someone's clipped my wings

If I could have one touch from you

One loving embrace is all

I know that I could make it

I know I wouldn't fall.

You're so very out of reach

I almost can't bear this space

I cannot find you. Where are you?

I need to see your face

If I could see you know

I'd leave my life behind

I'd give you it all

To feel your hand touch mine

I never knew what alone was

Now I feel so very weak

I'm so tired, confused, and scared

But I'm strengthened when I hear you speak

I wish I could feel joyful

I haven't felt it in a while

The thing that makes me happy

Is simply to see you smile

I've been shot from the sky

My wings are broken and tattered

But one loving look would cure me

One look that made me think I mattered

Without you here right now

In my walk of life, I've slipped

I cannot fly 'till you come back

For now my wings are clipped.

"Kumiko! Breakfast is ready so you better get down here before Miyuki eats it all," my mother called from the kitchen. I rolled over in my bed and groaned lazily. I didn't want to get up today, but one the less, I clumsily got out of my bed and made my way into the kitchen to eat.

Hi, I'm Kumiko Tohiji. I'm seventeen years old with naturally blonde hair (which I dyed black) and very pale skin. I am pretty short with violet eyes and a very "petite body" as my mom would say. I'm usually by myself at school or at home and I like to keep silent most of the time. They called me anit-social but they never bothered to find out why.

When I sat down at the table, my younger thirteen-year-old sister chirped her usual good morning and my mom gave me a kiss on the head before handing me a plate of pancakes.

"You're eyes look swollen, sweetie, were you crying last night?" my mom asked with concern evident in her voice.

"I just tripped and twisted my ankle last night but I'm fine now," I answered trying to assure my mom that I was alright. I was always having to come up with excuses like that to explain why I had been crying.

"Sure is wasn't over a boy, Kumiko?" my sister asked in her teasing tone. "Did another one turn you down?"

"Why does your whole world revolve around boys? And to answer your question, it wasn't. I have better things to do all day besides think about some boy."

Not that I did them....

"Geez, getting a little defensive, aren't we?"

"Shut up, Miyuki! You don't know what you're talking about!!"

"Girls, try not to fight," Mom said.

"The vermin started it," I said. I felt like arguing this morning.

"Hey!"

"Well you did!"

"Stop it! Both of you! One more argumenative word from either of you and you're both going to be in trouble," Mom said sternly and we both shut up and ate our breakfast.

At school that day, everything went perfectly normally. Boring classes, people throwing stuff at me, the teachers droning on an on about useless information like the atmoic weight of Boron. (A/N: I mean, WHO really cares?!) Lunch was my favorite time of the day, not because it let me interact with other kids but because it let me get away from them for a bit. I always ate my lunch in a tree about ten feet away from the pic-nic tables that the rest of the kids ate at. They called me the "Tree Bat" because I liked to get up there whenever I could at school. But anyway, I climbed nimbly up the tree till I found a sturdy branch to sit on and eat. For some reason, a familiar memory popped into my head at this moment...

-------Flashback----------

"Hiei," I said quietly. "I know you're here and I know you can hear me. Come down from where ever you are." There was a soft thud and Hiei stood beside me.

"What do you want?" he asked in his icey cold tone but I had learned to ignore the coldness.

"I need to tell you something before you go tomorrow," I answered nervously and I didn't turn to face him. I couldn't face him.

There was a long pause and Hiei said impatiently, "Well?"

"Please promise me first that you won't talk after I say what I'm about to tell you."

"Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"Because I'm pretty sure I know how you'd answer."

"Fine then."

"Hiei, I.... it's just that...... well, you see," I stammered and gathered enough courage to look at him. "Hiei, I think I love you."

The wind blew.

The cold night air chilled my bare arms.

He just stared at me.

"I know I shouldn't and I understand that by telling you this that it doesn't change anything and I'm risking you pushing me away but I had to tell you," I said quickly and all in one breath then looked away in embarassment. I felt a hand settle on my shoulder and a deep voice tickle my ear.

"Stop talking," he said and I froze. I was on the brink of tears because I thought he was rejecting me but I managed to keep them back. The hand moved from my shoulder to my chin as he forced me to look at him. He still wore his same emotionless face but his eyes were different. Those blood-red eyes held shock and confusion and indecision.

"I'm sorry, Hiei, but it would have eaten me from the inside out had I not told you. Please don't be angry at me because I just couldn't stand that."

"Didn't I just tell you not to talk?" he said not really posing it as a question but more of a repeated command. He pulled me towards him since he still had a hold on my chin and kissed me. It was barely more than a peck on the lips but it was enough to stun me. When he pulled away, my eyes were gigantic. He leaped into the trees and disappeared from sight.

-------End Flashback--------

"There's no guys like Hiei," I thought as I munched on the last of my food. "He was so mysterious and intriguing. I could almost never tell what he was thinking. Regular guys are so easy to read.You just have to learn how to decode them. Hiei always kept me guessing and even though I didn't always like not knowing, it made me curious about him"

"Hey! Get down from your tree. The bell just rang. Don't you need to get to class?" yelled someone at the foot of the tree. I looked down and said nothing to the boy staring up at me with an annoyed look on his face. "Come down already! I don't want to get more homework just because you don't care."

I hated people like him. All of them thinking they know me. I was the scary, little, psycho girl in the corner who never spoke unless spoken to. I did care about school but these teachers were strict. If anyone was late to class then everyone in that class would get extra homework. Not a great method but the school board didn't quite agree with my thoughts.

I jumped straight down from my branch, not really bothering to climb down the proper way.

"Took you long enough," the boy said and I gave him a blank stare before walking off to my next class. He followed beside me. "Why do you do that? Not talk to anyone. Do you think you're better than everybody else or something?"

"Don't think for a second that you comprehend why I do what I do or why I am how I am," I said with an icey edge in my voice.

"So you can talk!" he said with a sarcastic happiness.

"This is why I don't talk," I said more as a reminder to myself than a statement to him.

"Why?" he asked stupidly.

"Because all I get are cracks about how 'anti-social' I am or something like that," I answered and made guestures with my hand when I said "anti-social".

"Well, no offense but you sort of set yourself up for them by never speaking to anyone."

"And you set yourself up for looking judgemental when you don't even ask why I keep to myself."

"Well if you said something every once in a while and told someone why then people might be a little more sensative," he said grabbing my arm and stopped my walking.

"I don't like to talk about it," I said glaring at him then starting to walk away again.

'Then don't call us judgemental just because you won't explain why you hate to talk. You don't give us a chance to know why you act this way." I stopped walking and faced him, giving him a questioning stare.

"Do you even care?"

"As a matter of fact, I do."

"Is this for blackmail or something? A bet that you could find me out?"

"No, but I'd like to understand you," he said and I forced back a smile. Why was I smiling??

"If you're doing this because you pity me then I don't need your sympathy."

"No! I'm serious. You're interesting to me since you don't talk. What kind of thing could have happened to you that made you want to have nothing to do with other people?"

"It's a long and very invloved story," I said letting a tiny smile creep onto my face.

"Then could we talk about it? I'd like to meet you after school," he said and a second later, a girl with brown hair, who was undoubtedly his girlfriend, yelled at him about getting to class.

"I'm not sure I can," I said trying to get out of it all.

"Please?" he said giving me a very pleading look. I sighed and gave in.

"Alright then. Where do you want to meet?"

"Do you know where that apartment building is on Sanuri Street is?"

"Yeah."

"Go up to the desk and tell them you're a friend of Yusuke's. They'll know where to take you."

"Ok, I'll se you then!" I said and ran all the way to class.

!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&

A/N: WHEEEE!!! The first chapter is up! Yay!! And this whole thing is based on a poem I wrote called "Clipped Wings" and if you actually read this thing then you'll notice that I included it in here. It's my favorite of all my poems so far and sounded like a good fanfic idea. So it's all my idea.... mine..... my own..... except the yyh characters and all that crap but THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!! Hehehe! I hope you guys read chapter 2 and I'll be doing review answers and stuff so if you have questions or anything then PLEASE REVIEW!!! And even if you didn't like it.... REVIEW!!!!


	2. My story

Chapter Two: My Story

_'Where have I heard that name? I know I've heard that name somewhere but I just can't remmeber!'_ I thought as I spied Yusuke's apartment complex.

When I approached the desk at the front, there was a man there who I asked where I could find Yusuke. He wrote down a number on a small piece of paper and handed it to me.

"He's in apartment 56. Go up the stairs to the third floor and look on your left," he explained and I thanked him before heading up. I climbed the stairs to the third floor because the elevators were out of order and was rather out of breath by the time I reached the apartment.

"It's about time you got here," said Yusuke who was sitting right outside his apartment door when I reached it.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," I said sarcastically.

"Come on in," he said and opened the door to the apartment. I followed him inside and come upon a very untidy living room.

"Sorry about the mess," he said with an apologetic look and then lead me to his bedroom which was much better. He sat down on the floor and I followed the suit.

"So," I said with a sigh, "what do you want to know about me?"

"How about your first name to start with?"

"My name is Kumiko."

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"What's your bra size?" he asked and I was very surprised at his boldness.

"What the hell!! What kind of question is that?" I yelled and he started laughing.

"Just kidding. Well, let's cut to the chase; Why don't you talk?"

"Too hard a question."

"Huh?"

"I mean I'm not sure of the whole reason. I never thought much about it. I just don't have the desire to converse with people much."

"Got a boyfriend?"

"No."

"Pfft, figures."

"What's that supposed to mean," I asked angrily.

"You never open yourself up to anyone enough for them to get close to you."

"What if I like it that way?"

"Whatever floats your boat. Seems like it's be kind of lonely though."

"Hey! I've had lots of friends!"

"Yeah, 'had' being the key word here. And who were these friends of yours?"

"Well... I.....it was just..." I stumbled and my eyes fell to the floor. "I had ONE friends before."

"Guy or girl."

"It was a guy."

"What was his name," asked Yusuke and I kept silent. I couldn't say his name without feeling emotional. My eyes started filling up with tears and I swept them away before they could break free.

"It doesn't matter," I said feeling so stupid. _'I am such an idiot! It's be like 3 damn years so I shouldn't cry about it. I shouldn't cry at all. I hate crying...'_

"What happened between you two?"

"Nothing. He just left. He told me he had something to take care of. That was three years ago. I haven't seen or heard from him since."

"Well if you won't tell me his name then will you tell me what he looked like?"

"I guess so. Well, he was about my height-"

"Short," Yusuke stated bluntly.

"Whatever. Anyway, he had kind of spikey black hair, was pretty muscular, and he had...... gorgeous red eyes."

"Well, if I were a girl then I'd say he sounded hot but I don't swing that way," he joked and we both laughed while I gave him a soft punch in the shoulder.

"He wasn't just good looking, though. He had this mysteriousness about him, you know? Something was different about this one. He was really sweet once you got past his hard exterior."

"Crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside." We laughed.

"He's not a freaking candy bar! Anyway, he left so suddenly but told me he'd come back. I haven't seem any evidence that he has," I said as I played with my shoulder-length black hair a little.

"How old is this guy supposed to be?"

"Um, I'd say somehwere around 17 or 18. I'm pretty sure he's a year older than me," I said and then I realized that I had no idea how old Hiei's demon form was. Probably really old but I had never asked to find out.

"So THAT'S how old he is..." said Yusuke more to himself than me.

"Hm?"

"Oh, nothing. So the reason you don't talk has something to do with not seeing this guy for a while?"

"Something like that, I guess. It's all really complicated. I guess it's that... he could make me happy and without him here..... I don't feel cheerful much anymore. And I talk when I'm in a good mood."

'Then you can't hate me all that much," said Yusuke and I smiled. He was right. Something about Yusuke just made me feel like I could open up. He He was the first person I had enjoyed talking to in a long time. He was really funny too. He reminded me of a friend when I was younger, Sorano (A/N: I HAD to mention YOU, Pom pom!! )

"No, I guess not," I said and he smiled back.

"Was he a good kisser?"

"WHAT?!?!" I said rather surprised and next he laughed while I smacked him upside the head.

"I was just wondering!" he said between chuckles.

"I really wouldn't know what a good or bad kiss was anyway. i only kissed him twice."

"Hiei kissed a girl?!!!!" Yusuke said to himself again but more loudly than the last and the second I heard Hiei's name, I snapped to full attention.

"How did you know his name was Hiei??" I demanded with wide eyes. He slapped his hands over his mouth and shrugged his shoulders nervously.

"Uh.... I didn't."

"Do you know him?!" I grabbed him by the collar and shook him violently. Ok, so I was getting hysterical but this was how much I wanted to see Hiei.

"N-no!"

"LIAR!"

OK! Ok! I.... I do know Hiei," he said with a defeated sigh.

"Where is he?" I said in such an anxious voice that it almosy sounded like I expected him to come out of the closet and kill me or something.

"Well, Hiei is usually all over the place. He's never in one spot very long."

"Help me find him," I said standing up.

"What?!" He exclaimed and I suddenly remembered where I had heard of Yusuke.

".... Holy crap....Yusuke Urameshi?" I asked and he arched an eyebrow. "I remember now! I saw you and Hiei and that red-head fighting a demon! You were one of Hiei's friends!!"

"AM one of his friends. But I'm not sure friends is the right word. Hiei would never admit that he has 'friends'. But you're right. Took you long enough to remember me."

"You looked different from what I remembered you as," I explained and then went back to the original subject. "Will you help me find Hiei? And if you say no, I swear, I will never leave you alone about it. You've never seen annoying until you've got me on your back!"

"And I don't think I want to. I guess I'll help then."

"Great! Where do we start?"

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now!" I said and dragged him out of his room, his apartment, and his building. Once we were outsided, I asked him again, "Where do we start looking?"

"Well, lucky for you, I think I have an idea to how we can find Shorty."

"How is that?"

"Botan's got a little whistle that drives him crazy! If we blow it then he'll come after it, where ever it is." he said sounding like some tour guide or something.

"Let's get that whistle!!" I yelled and Yusuke pulled it out of his pocket instantly. "Why the heck do YOU have it? I thought you said we had to get it from Botan."

"I was having a little fun with it earlier today and hadn't gotten around to giving it back yet."

"You mean you swiped it from Botan," I said in a very unimpressed tone.

"Technically, it belongs to me becuase it's a spirit detective item and-"

"Yeah, yeah, just blow the damn thing already!" I commanded but Yusuke didn't obey.

"It probably wouldn't be the best idea to blow this here or now because Hiei will come in and start slashing at everything in sight!"

"Yeah, you're right. Uh... what if we moved this to the old valley. The one that used to have that factory on it. It's been bulldozed down was it's turned into a little woods. A place with lots of trees is a good place to start anyway."

"Good idea. But we might want to do this at night. It gives us more cover incase we get some unexpected visitors."

"Alright," I said then added, "Let's do it at like eleven or something. It's about six o'clock now so we've got a good five hours. Is that good for you?"

"Yup. We'll meet up there and find Hiei. He's kind of a night owl so he'll be up."

"Ok. So I'm going to go home and eat dinner with my family and then I'll slip out later. Don't be late tonight," I said and we both went our seperate ways back home.

On the way back, I felt enlivened.

_ Hiei_

I was going to see him for the first time in over three years. I had dreamed of this day for so long and I hoped it would be a happy reunion.

_'I hope he remembers me. He might have forgotten all about me,' _I thought as I continued walking._ 'That'd be just terrible. He wouldn't forget me, would he? I bet he won't. Atleast I hope he won't.'_

I thought about what might happen if he really didn't remember me. I did look really different. I was 17 now, not 14. I know I look dramatically different since then. I looked down at my black nails and started scatching off my nail polish a little and before I knew it, I was home. I opened the door quietly and saw my little sister and my dad sitting on the couch watching "Whose Line Is It Anyway" and they were so engrossed in their show that they didn't notice I had entered the room before I plopped down on the couch.

"Oh, hey, Kumiko. Have fun at your friend's house?" asked Dad. I smiled and nodded. "You must have. You look so happy. It's been a while since you visited any friends of yours. It's nice that your trying to hang out with them more. I'm glad."

"Yeah, me too," I said. My mom popped her head into the family room and annouced that dinner was ready. I had great timing.

"We'll be right there," Miyuki said with her eyes still glued to the screen. My dad picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and brought her into the kitchen because he knew that if HE didn't bring her in there, she wouldn't **get** in there. My sister was a little obsessed with her t.v. shows.

That night we had a great dinner with my great family and had a great time..... wow, I was really a lot more excited than I first realized. ((A/N: Hiei sexily took off him sexy bandages off his sexy arm... LOL, pompom and jelly. Quote from another fanfic)) I felt so anxious to see him again and my mom said after dinner that she noticed I was acting rather bouncy. I got the dishes done as fast as I possibly could and then told my parents that I was going up to bed. By this time, it was about 9:30 in the evening and I still had to wait another hour before I left. A half an hour would give me enough time to ride my bike to the valley. Normally, I'd take my parents car that they let me use but I didn't want questions about where I was going. So 10:30 crawled around and I put on a black tank top and jeans (going for the dark colors incase I had to hide) and crept outside. My sister was dead asleep on the couch with the remote in her hand as the TV flashed and I had to tip-toe passed her and handle our squeeky front door with extra care. When I got outside, I felt so free. I got jitters in my stomach that made my whole body shiver with excitement.

"I'm coming to find you, Hiei," I said to the night and it whispered back with a soft breeze. I took a deep breathe, grabbed my bike, and was off.

------------....later-------------

Well, after much panting and peddling, I made it to the valley. I looked at my watch which read 11:13 and I cursed at myself for being late. Parked my bike by a tree that marked the outskirts of the little wood, I started walking forward. When I entered it, I was suddenly a little creeped out. The darkness usually never bothered me but this was a little differet.... ((A/N: this was ADVANCED darkness. lol. sorry, the spongebob fan in me had to say it)) I felt like I was being watched. Every sound I made me me even more nervous. I heard a rustle and I felt my heart race as I pounded in my ears. Then I saw a shadow. It was up against a tree and it was moving towards me. I wished I had packed some kind of weapon with me like a knife or a anything lethal ((A/N: hey, she could have brought a nail filer. every school in the country thinks they're a weapon)). When the shadow came even closer, I felt a scream build up in my throat, ready to release. Then I screeched as loud as I could for just a split second because the showed figured covered my mouth.

"Don't scream, you baka!" said Yusuke, to my relief.

"Oh my God, I thought you were some axe murderer or something when you just kept coming closer without saying anything."

"It's just me," he said and suddenly, a lantern of some sort was alluminated and I saw his face. It was a very comforting sight in a creepy place like this. "You ready to do this?"

"Yeah," I answered trying to catch my breath. "What is that thing?" I pointed at the lantern.

"It's an old electic light that my mom used to use when she went camping as a kid. Amazingly, it still works. It runs on batteries so it won't go out."

"Alright. Got the whistle?"

"Right here," he said fishing in his jacket pocket and pulling it out.

"Ok, let's do this."

&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!

A/N: This was an interesting chapter.... maybe b/c i wanted to put so many a/n's in so that all probably killed it or made it a little more humorous. I am such a dork. Anyway REVIEW!!nd if you send me a good one, I'll answer it in the next chapter. But there'd onlt oging to be a max of 6 chapter for this thing. so START REVIEWING, DAMMIT!!


	3. The Reunion from Hell

Chapter Three: Reunion from Hell

"You better get out of the way for a second," suggested Yusuke. "If he sees any living thing, he'll try to kill it. He won't look to see who it is first."

"Ok, I'll hide in this bush here. Tell me when I can come out," I said and crawled into a bush and watched Yusuke through the gaps between the leaves. He brought the whistle to his mouth and blew hard into it. Strangely, I didn't hear a thing and for a few seconds, nothing at all happened.

"Something wrong with it?" I asked but Yusuke put a finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet. When I did, there came a faint rustling sound. Yusuke blew the whistle one more time and a second later he was being attacked by a small, black body. After a brief struggle, Yusuke was able to identify the person as Hiei.

"Hiei! Hiei, it's me, Yusuke," he said looking in every direction because Hiei could be anywhere considering how fast he was. "Come out, Hiei. I've been trying to find you. I thought that maybe this tactic that we used that last time we needed you would work."

"I swear, detective, if you ever blow that wretched thing again, it'll be your head," said a gruff voice. I squinted my eyes in the direction of the noise and I felt a tingle go up my spine when he spoke. Then I saw him. He was standing in one of the trees looking as pissed off as ever. He looked almost exactly the same. The way he moved, the blank face, the piercing red eyes; that was all Hiei. He did look a little different though. He looked a little stronger and older considering he was eighteen.

"Hiei, I came across somebody the other day. Someone who might be of interest to you," Yusuke started and Hiei jumped down from his tree to ground level with Yusuke. I watched every purposeful move he made with awe. I was completely captivated.

"Such as?" Hiei asked with a bit of impatience in his voice.

"Some girl from my school. She's the talk of the school because she doesn't say a word," Yusuke said and Hiei gave him a questioning stare. "Her name is Kumiko something." I saw Hiei's eyes widen noticably.

"Kumiko Tohiji?" said a surprised Hiei.

"Yup. I found her at school and you'll never guess where.... in a tree. I guess you guys have a thing or two in common."

"What do you know about Kumiko Tohiji?"

"Just that you guys were sweethearts," said Yusuke with a smug look on his face. Hiei's face turned from questioning to defensive.And that stupid detective had to go and make it worse with little kissey noises. I was going to have to hit him after this.

"Hn. You know not what you speak of," he said crossing his arms.

"I talked to her today, Hiei. She actually said something for a change."

"That onna used to talk alot. Nothing new."

"Aparently you haven't seen her in a while."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean she hardley says a word to anyone. People literally thought she didn't know how to talk. She hasn't said much of anything..... for three years."

"What has three years got to do with anything?"

"It was three years ago that you had to leave with the team to fight, remember?"

"So?" Hiei said getting defensive again. I wondered when Yusuke was going to pull me into this. I hoped not soon because I wanted to hear from Hiei if he still.... felt the same about me.

"She misses you, Hiei. She misses you a lot."

"Well if she wants to see me that bad then why didn't she come herself?" asked Hiei and at about the worst time, I felt a sneeze coming on. I prayed that I wouldn't sneeze but right after Hiei finished his sentence...

"Achoo!!" Hiei and Yusuke both looked in my direction and Hiei walked over to where I was hiding and looked down at me.

"What are you doing here, girl? Get out of there," Hiei demanded and I came out of my bush and stood up to face him. "What do you think you're doing here so late at night? You shouldn't be here." Hiei said barely glancing at me then walked over to Yusuke.

"Hiei," said Yusuke, "_that's _Kumiko." Hiei did a double take on me then stared. His eyes got huge. Then they changed to suspicious and he took a few steps closer to me.

"Come here into the light," he said and I did as I was told and he went all around me the look at me. I felt like I was in prison and they were inspecting me. When Hiei went around me once, he came back to my face and looked me straight in the eye. For a long time, no one said anything. The long pause became pretty awkward and Yusuke sensed this so he broke the silence.

"This is her, Hiei. I bet you guys might want to be alone right now so I'll leave for a few minutes. I'll be back in half an hour," muttered Yusuke before starting to walk away. I gave him a pleading look. I wanted him to stay but he gave me a reassuring smile and continued on. I looked back to Hiei and for a minute, we just stood there again.

"Kumiko," Hiei said and I nodded when he said my name. "So you're really her." I nodded again. My eyes looked down to the ground. Hiei was silent for a few more seonds then said, "Well, say something!"

"H-hello, Hiei. It's been a long time."

"Hn."

".........Why didn't you come back?"

"What do you mean?"

"You promised me that you'd come back to see me........ but it's been three years. I had to find you myself."

"Hn. You didn't need me in your life and I didn't need you in mine."

"You're wrong, Hiei. I wished everyday that you were with me."

"I didn't come back becuase you were a weakness for me. If enemies found out about your connection to Reikai then you'd be done for."

"So I was just a burden to you? Just something holding you back like some twisted ankle or something?!"

"Not exactly."

"Not exactly but close, i bet."

"Not quite."

"Then what **is** it like, Hiei? Did you not come back because you never wanted to see me again? Tell me the truth!" I said. I was angry with him for not being happy to see me even though I should have been rejoicing his appearance.

"You weren't something holding me back but if someone knew.... about us, then they'd take that opportunity to seize you and make me give into them."

"Why didn't you ever tell me that Hiei?"

"I thought if you never saw me again then you'd forget about me and get on with life," he said with a sigh.

"Forget you? How could I forget you?? You were everything me, Hiei. I had that stripped away from me that one day when you announced that you had to go. Everything good in my life was ripped out of my grasp and because I thought I'd get it back, I held onto you. hoping."

"Is that why you don't talk?" he asked and I paused for a moment. I didn't know how to answer that one.

"I guess so. Some of it is that you... you made me happy. I don't feel happy with anyone but you. And some of it is that I didn't want anyone to get that close to me again so they could be taken away too," said I and Hiei stood staring at the ground for a moment. He then looked up at me.

"You've changed," he said. He was refering to the black hair, dark fingernails, and eyeliner.

"So have you."

"When did you get rid of your blonde hair?"

"About last year. I wanted it black," I said and he took a few steps closer and reached out. At first, I didn't know quite what he was doing until he held a few dark strands between his fingers.

"You never used to wear eyeliner before," he added as he looked around my eyes at the black eyeliner surounding them. "Why do you wear it?"

".......................A lot of things have changed since you left. My life has been very different without you."

"Kumiko," he started and looked like he was about to say something when he let out a sigh and shook his head. "Nevermind." He let his hand fall back to his side and started to walk away.

"Where are you going."

"I have to go."

"Please don't leave," I whispered with sadness evident in my voice. "Don't go yet." He turned his head and looked at me. "You've been away for so long that I haven't talked to you in years."

"It seems you haven't talked to anyone in years."

"Please stay here," I begged again and he turned back around and stayed. He sat down and leaned up against a tree with his arms folded as usual. I sat down in the dirt where I stood.

"Why did you want to see me, Kumiko?"

"Because it has been so long. I was beginning to worry about you. I didn't know if you were dead, alive, or hurt. I think about you a lot. I wish I could have see you more often."

"It wouldn't have benefited you in the long run. Demons would have learned of our connection and murdered you."

"It could have been worse."

"How?"

"A few months ago, I thought you were dead. I had convinced myself that the only reason you wouldn't come back was because you were dead and I almost...... I almost killed myself."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because..... I wanted to be with you so badley that I'd kill my self if that was what it took."

"You're feelings will bring you down someday," he said looking off into the forest. I got up and walked over to him. Right in front of him, I sat down.

"Tell me the truth, Hiei, did you miss me at all? Did you even care about me? How much did you think about me when you were gone."

"I got over it."

"You got over it? You didn't even care that I was waiting for you? You didn't even care that everynight I thought of you and cried about how I'd never see you again? You didn't think that maybe I wanted you to come back?" I said first as an annoyed remark that then escalated into a yell.

"You would have gotten over it too if you hadn't let your emotions rule you."

"I ALMOST COIMMITED SUICIDE OVER YOU!! I thought about you every moment of everyday. I wouldn't speak to a soul because I missed you so much!! And all you can say is I would have gotten over it?!?!"

"Don't start getting hysterical, onna. You put yourself through this misery by letting yourself care. Had you wanted to be done with me, then your heart would not have held on."

"You are such a damn bastard! I hope you die and burn in Hell someday," I growled and he growled back at me. He took this as a challenge and even though I knew he wouldn't hurt me, he'd try.

"Don't fool yourself into ever thinking that I had feelings for you!! I pitied you so I went along with it!"

"I HATE YOU, HIEI!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE EVER AGAIN!!" I screamed and ran as fast as I could away. I past Yusuke and he grabbed my arm to stop me but I ripped it away and got on my bike before speeding off to my home.

I got to my house and threw my bike on the ground angrily as I thought about how much I wished I HAD brought a weapon with me. I wanted him to hurt like I did. I wanted him to feel as miserable as I did. I fell to my knees right by my front door and starting crying hard.

"I thought you loved me, Hiei. I thought you wanted to be with me," I said between sobs. I tried as hard as I could to keep them in but I was far beyond that. "I loved you so much. You kissed me. You PROMISED me that you'd return but I wish I had never seen you again." I got up and went into my house quietly. I snuck upstairs to my room and closed the door. When I was inside, I opened up the window to get some cool air in my room and took a deep breath. I wanted to sleep. I was completely drained physically and emotionally. I needed some rest from all the haywire emotions. I took off my shoes but didn't bother to change my clothes before I crawled into my bed and got under the covers. I closed my eyes and my breathing eventually evened out but my mind was so clouded with anger that I just couldn't settle down enough to fall asleep. For about three hours, I tried to fall asleep but something just kept me up. Suddenly, I noticed that some of the breeze coming through my window was being blocked and then I heard a light pitter-patter of footsteps. I thought it was just my sister getting up from the couch and going to her room but I saw a shadow lean over me through my eyelids and decided to keep them closed, afriad of what I might see. For all I knew, it might be a murderer or a burgler or something like that. But when the person crawled into the bed, I tried so hard not to scream. I thought it was someone coming to kill me but for a minute, they just laid beside me in the bed. I opened my eyes just a crack and tried to identify the figure but it was just too dark. There was a little moonlight coming through my window but their back was to it and all I saw was a shadow. I closed my eyes completely again and hoped they'd leave but instead of leaving, the person scooched closer to me on the bed and put an arm around me.

"I'm so sorry, Kumiko," said the shadow and I recognized the voice as Hiei's! What did he want? "I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't want you to be troubled with me. I wish you could forget about me even though I could never forget about you. I.... I still love you. I haven't ever stopped. I just wanted you to think that I didn't so you could get over me and live a normal life. I don't want things to be so complicated but with my job with Reikai, you'd be in constant danger and you can't protect yourself. I wish I could always be with you so I could do that for you but I can't. But please don't think I hate you. I thought about you everyday and I missed you terribly." He sighed and gave me a kiss on the forehead before pulling me closer to him. After a few minutes of silence, he started whispering again. "I loved the way you smile. I loved how much and how fast you talk. I loved the way your eyes light up when you laugh. I loved the face you would make when you do something clumsy or stupid. I loved the way you could make me smile. I loved your voice. I loved the enthusiam you used to have on life. I loved the way you used to be afraid of the dark. I loved when you would tease me. I hope your can keep eing the Kumiko I fell in love with. And I hope you can forgive me someday."

_ 'He was lying that whole time. He did miss me. And he still loves me,'_ I thought as I felt tears of joy trickle down my face. I tried to act like I was asleep so he wouldn't leave and he held me closer. I smiled as the tears kept coming. I had never felt more content or safe in my entire life.

"I wish things could be different. I wish more than anything that I could be with you," he whispered. I sighed and gave into the most restful and lovely sleep of my life.

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A/N: Well, that turned from a crappy situation to a very sweet reunion. I wanted to make it so that Hiei found out that Kumiko was awake and they talked for a bit but that'd end the story too soon!! More to come in the next chapter, "How to Catch a Hiei." And once again..... REVIEW!!!


	4. How to Catch a Hiei

Chapter 4: How to catch a Hiei

I woke up the next morning (which happened to be Saturday) and squinted at the light streaming in through my still open window. Hiei must have left while I was actually asleep. I rolled over and closed my eyes and thought about what had happened. What was I supposed to do now? How do you convince a person as determined as Hiei to change his mind? And how would he react if he knew I was awake. I was very surprised that he thought I really was sleeping but maybe he wanted me to hear it. Well, that moment was over now. I had to get up and get ready for a new day.

I stretched my arms over my head as I laid in bed and arched my back to help my muscles awake. I sighed sleepily and then walked out of my room to the kitchen. My sister was sitting in a chair at the table wearing a giant T-shirt that had belonged to my dad. She looked cold because she hugged her knees to her chest under the T-shirt to keep warm. I too noticed that it was getting a little colder than usual today. Winter was just around the corner.

"How'd you sleep, Kumiko?" Mom said while she washed her hands at the kitchen sink.

"Pretty good. I fell asleep a little late last night so I'm still kind of tired," I answered with a yawn.

"Well, your sister was up watching television all night so she's dead tired," said Mom drying off her hands and pointing toward my sister. Her eyes were closed and head rested on her covered knees. I laughed lightly and rested my elbows on the table as I sat down.

"Oh, by the way, mom, I've got to re-dye my hair. Just so you know."

"Thanks for the warning, sweetheart. No offense but that dye stinks!" she said and I laughed as she made a face. It was really strong but because it was so full of ammonia. "I'm making some biscuits if you want some. They'll be out in about 25 minutes."

"Alright. That'll give me enough time to dye my hair. So call me when they're done," I said getting up and getting a bowl from the cabinet before heading to my own bathroom.

Opening up the medicine cabinet, I looked through the contents and found my black hair dye in the back. I had to hide it from my little sister because Mom was afraid she'd try to dye her own hair black. I grabbed a towel from the rack and set the bowl on the sink counter. After mixing the dye liquids together and applying them to my hair, I was stuck sitting and waiting with a towel around my neck, protecting my shoulders. I decided not to take a chance of ruining my shirt so I sat on the covered toilet in a bra and jeans.

My plan of action was what filled my mind. Somehow, I had to find a way to make Hiei stay or take me with him. He was really determined to keep me distanced though. I was too stubborn to give up. I wasn't going to go down without a fight and I was planning on him doing the same thing. I realized that what he was trying to do for me was out of concern but I didn't care if being with him put me in danger. What if that's what I wanted? What if I WANTED to face danger with him? But he wouldn't let me.

My thoughts were rudely interrupted when the door to the bathroom swung open revealing Yusuke breathing hard and I screamed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" I yelled and pushed him out before slamming the door in his face. "You're such an idiot!"

"Well you didn't even lock the door!" he said from outside the door.

"I don't usually have people barging in on me so I don't need to!" I said with a huff. "What do you want anyway?"

"I gotta tell you something important."

"What?" I said in a rather snippy and annoyed tone.

"It's about Hiei," he said slowly.

"What about him?" I said realizing I needed to rinse out the dye now.

"Are you sure you want me to say it out here?"

"You're sure as hell not coming in here! And it's not like anyone in my family knows about Hiei," I said over the running water of the shower.

"Well, I'm not sure how to say this…but Hiei's leaving."

"HE'S WHAT?!" I yelled and turned off the water. Using a new towel and drying my hair, I continued my conversation. "Where is he going??"

"He's kind of going to…. to… Makai."

"So? It's not like he can't some back or something."

"Well, that's the thing. Trips between Ningenkai and Makai are very rare. So basically, once he's gone, he can't come back," Yusuke said.

"You're not serious, are you?"

"Sure am. He's leaving later today or early tomorrow. He wanted me to tell you goodbye."

"No, no, no, no, no. He's not making YOU say goodbye to me FOR him! I'm going to find him!" I said putting my shirt back on and wrapping the towel around my head.

"How do you expect to find him? He's probably long gone by now."

"If I know Hiei," I said opening the door finally, "Then he's going to stick around her as long as he can. I know he doesn't want to leave but thinks he has to."

I walked into my bedroom and found my shoes and slid them on quickly. Yusuke followed me and when I stood up and looked him in the eye (well, I TRIED to look him in the eye….. I was making eye contact, ok?? I was just a little… A lot too short to look him straight in the eye) he nodded. We both knew what was going to happen and we knew it had to be quick.

"Let's go."

-

"Do you even know where you're going?" Yusuke asked me and I shushed him and continued on to the deserted valley.

"Of course I do!! I know Hiei's tree better than anyone!" I said in an exasperated tone because truthfully, I was totally lost. I hadn't been to Hiei's tree in months and was just a little bit confused.

Hiei always had this one tree that he particularly liked to hang out in so anytime I wanted to find him, I would look in his tree. I wondered why he didn't just switch tree when he didn't want to be found but I don't think there ever was a time when he didn't want me to find him.

I wasn't quite looking were I was going and I hit my head straight into a tree, knocking myself back and quite dizzy. At this point, Yusuke started being an idiot again.

"Ding dong, The witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch!! DING DONG, THE WICKED WITCH IS DEEEEEEEAAAAAAAD!!!" he started singing at the top of his lungs and I kicked him as well as I could from the ground and yelled at him that I wasn't dead so he could stop celebrating.

"You're such a dork," I said under my breath and he smiled, flashing a victory sign. I laughed and stood up. I looked up at the tree I ran into and noticed it looked familiar. Then I saw a thick branch in the middle of the tangle that had the bark worn off of from repeated contact from something else.

Something else little and dressed in black that happened to be sitting there with his hands behind his head and his eyes staring own at us.

"Alright, short stuff," Yusuke said and I saw Hiei roll his eyes. "Kumiko needs to talk to you."

He hopped down from the tree and landed soundlessly on the ground.

I turned around to face Yusuke and motioned with my head for him to leave. He nodded and started walking briskly away. When his footsteps were too faint to hear, I turned to Hiei with a serious look.

"Hiei, Yusuke told me everything and I just wanted to ask why the hell are you doing this?" I said and took a step forward. He took one back but didn't say anything in response. "Say something, dammit! When I heard, I came straight here. I don't know what you hope to accomplish by leaving. I won't forget. I won't stop caring. And neither will you. So why bother to try?

His eyes widened as he realized what I had said. I gave him a look that assured what he was thinking.

"You know not of what you speak," he answered crossing his arms and looking away.

"Don't play stupid! You know I was awake last night. I heard every word you said. Please don't leave," I said, first peeved then desperate.

"Sometimes the right path is not always the easiest."

"Why are you afraid that I'll get hurt?"

He paused for a moment then looked at me in the eyes once more and said, "Because I've had someone close to me hurt because I couldn't be there. I couldn't take that again."

My eyes softened as I took another step toward him and this time, he didn't back away.

"Who was it, Hiei?" I asked with a softness in my voice.

"My sister. My only living relative. Do you understand why I have to leave now? This is why I can't stay with you? Maybe one day when I'm off the Reikai team, then maybe we can start over. But until then, there's no way."

I looked long and hard at him and then he spoke again.

"We live in reality, Kumiko. In reality, things happen. People get hurt, murdered, die. I'd rather live knowing I saved you by getting away from you than spend every moment worrying that something would go wrong. My life is a living Hell. You don't want that. You ask for pain when you stay with me. That's all I've ever known. Pain, suffering, and loss. I don't want to loose the one thing I was finally allowed to have."

"You'll lose me if you leave!" I retorted and he shook his head. The tears streamed down my face as I listened to what Hiei was saying. He was right, I knew he was, but why did the right thing FEEL like the wrong thing?! I squeezed my eyes shut and lowered my head. I held my breath to keep the sobs inside of me and started trembling.

"This is not real… I'm at home in my bed, asleep. My mom should be coming in right now to shake me awake. I'm going to go to school and sit in my tree and think about this weird dream," I whispered as I forced myself to breathe. "I'm going to still be hoping that Hiei comes back and be the opposite of my dream. Hiei and I will live happily ever after with little Hiei's and Kumikos.

I couldn't feel my fingertips as I clasped my sides and bent over. Dizziness came over me and I struggled to keep my balance. My body was going numb. I couldn't feel, I couldn't see, I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. The tears flowed freely out of my eyes but I never emitted a cry or snivel. I could only drop to my knees and shake.

"Kumiko, what are you doing? Are you alright?" asked Hiei who was extremely concerned. He kneeled down next to my and put his arm around me but I screamed.

"NO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "You can't leave! I've waited years for you, Hiei and the day after our re-meeting, you run off again! Why do you keep doing this to me!!"

I exploded into sobs. I didn't bother to hold them in any longer. I had been doing that for too long. I screamed and cried and yelled a Hiei and each time he would try to comfort me or get me to stand up, I'd refuse to let him near me. I was at my lowest low and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't even think straight. My head felt like it was about to implode while my breaths came in and out in short spasms as I quaked helplessly on the ground.

"Kumiko," he whispered in a soothing tone. I looked up at him with a red, tear-stained face and puffy, pink eyes. He looked down at me first with pity, then with a smile. Suddenly, he yanked me to my feet and pressed his lips to mine. It was quick and mundane but it was what I needed.

"I love you," I whispered between bursts of breath. He smiled back and pulled me into a warm embrace. I looked behind him and a black void appeared about the size of a basketball.

"The portal. Koenma must have finally opened it," said Hiei letting me go and starting to walk toward it.

"Wait," I interrupted and grabbed his hand. "Promise me something."

"I can't come back, Kumiko."

"No, not that. Promise me…. That you won't forget me."

He smiled and me and I let go of his hand. When he reached the portal, which had grown rather quickly, he looked back and something small and shining fell to the ground. An another. And another. I looked at his face but he had turned away.

"I'll never forget you. I'll never stop loving you. I'll never stop thinking about you. I can't stop. Now promise me something. Promise me that you'll never shut up. Promise me that you'll smile and laugh a lot. And don't wait up for me."

He jumped into the portal and it promptly closed after he disappeared into the darkness.

I stared at the now empty air for a long time when I noted a sparkle come from the grass. Then I remembered. Hiei's tear gems. Swiftly, I rushed over ad kneeled down to gather the tiny black pebbles up.

Three black jewels. My lost reminder of the fire demon. What was I saying? Everything reminded me of Hiei! The trees, the night, the stars, a flame, the snow. Everything was a constant reminder. But maybe I was never meant to forget. Perhaps I was destined to secretly hope for the day that would never come. I carefully placed the black gems into my pocket and walked away from Hiei's tree. As I looked up into the cloudless sky, I smiled. Things were going to be different.

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A/N: there you go! There's one more chapter after this. It's a little shorter than the others that was never really meant to be included but I thought it might make it a little more of a happy ending. REVIEW!!!


	5. Darkest Before the Dawn

Chapter 5: Darkest Before the Dawn

I don't know what possessed me to go back there. Some indescribable urge compelled me, screaming at me to get up and go. So I obeyed the need and snuck past my roommate and silently left my apartment. The night whispered its greetings and I closed me eyes and took a deep breath. I loved the night.

When I reached the valley, it really didn't look like the old, deserted site that it once was. Apparently, the city had finally done useful with it and turned it into a park. When I pulled up in my car, I was surprised at how well they had fixed it up. There were paves sidewalks and roads and playground sets and even a pond for swimming when it was cold enough. Getting out, I took in my surroundings and sighed, watching the crystallized breath linger in the frozen air. There was snow everywhere. The thick white blanket of pure white was covering the new park. I loved snow. Snow was so beautiful to me. As it started gently falling around me, it comforted me. The snow wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere, why should I? Then suddenly, the memories of this valley flooded back bring small tears to my eyes. Not tears of sadness, but of happiness. I blinked to remove the snowflakes from my eyelashes and then though, 'He was like snow. It's cold sometimes and a little bit rough, but it can be gentle and soothing too.'

Ever since he had left, everything had been going right. At first, I thought it was because he was bad luck or something and when he went away, things were fine. No. It was more like things seemed better than before. Nothing much changed. No one acted different, but things looked as if they had suddenly brightened. The roaring storm of my mind and heart were suddenly settled. It was what he had said.

"_I'll never forget you. I'll never stop loving you. I'll never stop thinking about you. I can't stop. Now promise me something. Promise me that you'll never shut up. Promise me that you'll smile and laugh a lot. And don't wait up for me."_

I had become stronger. Something clicked in my brain and suddenly, I didn't feel helpless, I didn't feel lonely, I didn't feel like I needed someone. The unexplainable feeling of security was something I hadn't felt in a long time.

Guided by a lamppost, I spied a clearing where the snow had fallen in one clean sheet, and not patchy like the tree-covered parts of this place. I walked over slowly and hugged my tan coat closer to me. In the middle of the clearing, I looked up. The snow softly descending against the black sky made it look like the stars were falling to the Earth. Snow was that magical for me. I stretched my arms out to the sides and started spinning. Gradually, I accelerated and my golden hair fanned out around me and shimmered in the dim light. The floating specs of white flurried around my twirling form and I felt free. Like a child who dances and doesn't care who's watching, like a bird with nothing to keep it from flying off into the heavens, like a couple seeing each other after a long time apart. I fell on my back from the dizziness still laughing and I breathed in the rigid cold air deeply.

"_Twenty-one and still a kid inside."_ I felt like the snow had a personality of its own. It comforted me caringly and I laid in the deep powder. I felt so relaxed that I didn't even feel the cold.

"Hiei… I hope you're doing as well as I am. I miss you, but I know I'll be ok," I whispered and the night air carried my words off into the wind.

((Third person))

She stayed there and closed her eyes as her contentment made everything around her just a little bit warmer. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and got up, brushing herself off. She saw the swings in the distance and walked toward them and wiped off the seat before sitting down and swinging. Slowly, she swung back and forth, back and forth. Until it became so easy that she felt like she didn't even have to swing her legs anymore. Then she felt like something had brushed by her back and she gave a little yelp. She looked behind her and saw a branch of a tree protruding from the rest of the foliage. She laughed uneasily but continued on…

Oblivious to who was in the tree…

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A/N: I love endings where you can choose what happens to the character. It makes you more apart of the story. I've gotten a request for a sequel and to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I could do it. I'm running out of ideas. I've done a sequel (which I personally liked better than the original) but I just don't know how I'd do this one. Besides, not every story, is a happy story. But I get enough requests, I might try to figure something out.

REVIEW PEOPLE!!!


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